Go Google It, da ze
by Chinatsu Mochizuki
Summary: So Taiwan tries to hook a wary, not-really-into-it Vietnam up with a friend of hers through the fabulous internet. It's a stupid idea, but it could work. Or not. KoViet oneshot based on the Vocaloids Megurine Luka and Kamui Gakupo's "Go Google It".


***Notes!**

**Linh Hyunh: Vietnam**

**Waen Jainukul: Thailand**

**Corazon de los Santos: Philippines**

**Li "Leon" Chun: Hong Kong**

**Just a heads up. :3**

* * *

><p>So Vietnam wasn't exactly the most social Nation-tan in East Asia. It's not like she hoped to be, though. In fact, she was just content with her paddle, her skillfulness in making stuff, and her overall lifestyle of being her, even if it meant being a bit shy and—what was it that Taiwan said Japan called girls like her?—tsundere. It was just fine with her, so why did Taiwan and Philippines and Indonesia have to poke fun at her about it? She knew her fellow ASEANs meant no harm, but the Far East girl…she wasn't so sure about. It seemed that she was fixated on getting her pal out of her shell and into the world of romantic interaction, which didn't fail to disturb Vietnam. She understood Taiwan's wishes to get her a boyfriend (okay, that was a lie; she couldn't comprehend how it was important to her <em>at all<em>), but honestly. Did she have to use the internet as their starting point?

"I don't really know, Mei," Vietnam sighed as she gazed at the laptop Taiwan had plopped on her lap before sitting down next to her on the couch in her living room. The window that was opened up on the screen had a little blinking key in a text box, waiting for words to be typed that would hopefully start up a conversation and possibly a friendship. "I'm not one for chatting with someone I don't even know, so-"

Taiwan cut her off before she could continue. "No! Linh, trust me on this one!" she insisted with a grin on her face. "Just say 'châo' or something and see what he says! I'll talk you through the rest, don't worry~" If all went well, she would successfully hook Vietnam up with the only person she would never speak to in real life. Well, maybe not the _only _person, but one of those people. The only guys Vietnam would talk to are Thailand and Malaysia, who were practically her brothers; America, who was a bit of a manwhore and already involved with Philippines to be available; Hong Kong, who was **hers**; and France. France was self-explanatory. None of them were good enough for her friend, so Taiwan had to pull some strings so that she could communicate with the best choice she could find. But damn it, couldn't Vietnam at least _pretend _to be interested? She looked almost nauseous with ennui, just staring at the laptop and sinking into the cushiony backrest of her white couch.

"Aren't you going to type something?"

"I don't know what to say."

"I told you! Say 'châo' or 'hey' or something! You can't just keep him waiting!"

"What kind of screenname is 'KPOPchiZe' anyway?"

"Don't change the subject! Just say something!" How ridiculous. Taiwan was about to rip out her perfectly-styled, lightly-bleached, Japanese-straightened hair in frustration. If Vietnam wasn't going to say anything, then _she _would. God, what a hermit. She was worse than China.

A couple seconds passed and Vietnam sat like a rock, her feet rooted in her carpet that matched her furniture and her hands glued to the cushions. It was surprising that the heat from beneath the laptop hadn't burned a hole through her jeans to her lap yet. Pushed past her limit of patience, Taiwan furiously typed a "hey ;)" on the keyboard with her lacquered fingernails as if they were jackhammers assaulting concrete. "Hey!" Vietnam snapped out of her shyness-induced semi-coma and glared at her friend with astonishment. "Mei, why did you-"

"Alright, I started it, now you finish!" Taiwan snickered, teasingly poking Vietnam's cheek before grabbing her bag and standing up with the intention to leave. She would've grown a fu-Manchu beard and mustache by the time Vietnam decided to act on her own and type, so she wasn't going to stick around and wait any longer. Besides, Hong Kong promised to take her to Disneyland that afternoon—no way was she missing that. "Message me on Facebook later on how it turns out!" she called, galloping out the door.

Vietnam sat in silence as she still tried to process what just happened. So her friend just forged a conversation with someone who might as well be a rapist on the internet, then left. She was about to space out into a semi-coma again, unsure of what to do, when a 'ping' emitted from the laptop. Oh, God, he responded. What now? What was she going to say?

_**KPOPchiZe: **__hi ;D mei told me about u~ ur linh, rite?_

_Um…_ was all that echoed in her skull. Dumbly, she typed a "yep, who's this?" as a response. Please let this end soon.

Another ping came up with a reply that nearly terrified her.

_**KPOPchiZe:**__ u know~ so what r u into?_

Oh, crap, did she just give her identity to some stalker? Who exactly did Taiwan plan to "hook her up" with, because from the way this started, she didn't like this person! Why wouldn't he tell her who he was? He was probably some middle-aged pervert Taiwan found on craigslist or something, thinking he was a decent guy. Great, now she was chatting with a possible creep. She could just end the conversation now, right? Then she wouldn't get sucked into this anymore. That was it; she would just 'x' out now and save herself from the migraine-inducing chatting.

She put her hands on the keyboard and typed a response with a begrudging scowl on her face for succumbing to her curiosity.

_**paddlepowerchan: **__what am i into?_

_**KPOPchiZe:**__ as in, what do u lyk?_

_**paddlepowerchan:**__ what?_

_**KPOPchiZe:**__ ok, what's ur fave food~?_

_**paddlepowerchan: **__who is this rly?_

And about the same time she sent her response, he sent the damning message that had his identity dawn over her like a horrific sunrise of doom and terror.

_**KPOPchiZe: **__do u lyk kimchi? :D_

…

…

_**paddlepowerchan: **__is this yong soo?_

_**KPOPchiZe: **__who told u? :o_

_SHI-_

Taiwan should thank Hong Kong a hundred times for planning that Disneyland date she wouldn't shut up about that afternoon, since she had narrowly avoided a paddle to the head because of it. Korea. _Korea?_ Out of the hundreds of Nation-tans that existed on this Earth, why would she choose _Korea?_ He was loud, obnoxious, perverted—he was the Asian version of America, and she could barely stand _him_; Korea was no different! Yes, she wanted more friends, but not if it meant becoming close with the damn Korean and his weird obsession with boobs and Snoopy and stealing inventions from China and Japan and all. He was a weirdo beyond any other weirdo she's ever seen, and since she more or less observed people rather than interacted with them during world meetings, she's seen a lot of them. And Taiwan had the nerve to set her up with him? "Message me on Facebook later on how it turns out"—she was going to message her, all right, but there were going to be words that would not be very nice. At all. Vietnam sat wide-eyed and speechless in outrage before battering a response on her keyboard with her fingers.

_**paddlepowerchan:**__ yong soo, forget about this!_

_**KPOPchiZe:**__ but we were just getting started! T-T_

_**paddlepowerchan: **__mei was being a retard when she asked u to do this so leave it, k?_

_**KPOPchiZe:**__ she didn't ask me – i was the one who wanted to talk to u :3 she just gave me ur screenname_

Vietnam blinked at his response. _He_ wanted to talk to _her_? This was what _he_ wanted? …Wait, why did she care? She didn't like him, so the very fact that he was the one who planned this the entire time did not affect her in the slightest. It didn't mean that she wouldn't still yell at Taiwan through social networking for involving her in things she never agreed to do.

_**paddlepowerchan:**__ can u just leave me alone now?_

_**KPOPchiZe: **__but we never chat! _

_**paddlepowerchan: **__when would i evr chat with you?_

_**KPOPchiZe: **__ur nvr online for chat on fb so i nvr get to talk to u :(_

_**paddlepowerchan: **__u c my fb?_

_**KPOPchiZe:**__ we've been friends since u joined duhhh_

_**paddlepowerchan: **__ur kidding me, rite?_

_**KPOPchiZe: **__nope~ btw ur profile pic is adorable :D_

Well, now she had to block him. She must've unconsciously accepted his friend request when he had sent it a long time ago. Like he said, she wasn't frequent on the site, so it's not like she noticed. But now that she knew that he looks through her pictures and page, she had to take the extra effort to hide herself from him. She didn't know he could be so creepy. And the thing he said about her profile picture. He thought she was cute? That picture was so awkward, she had always thought. No one ever complimented her picture like that, and-what was she thinking? She. Did. Not. _Like him!_

_**KPOPchiZe: **__so u nvr answered my question~ do u lyk kimchi?_

Maybe if she answered in an off-hand kind of way, he would leave her alone. She prayed to the almighty forces above that that would be the case.

_**paddlepowerchan: **__go google it._

_**KPOPchiZe: **__well then what's your email?_

_**paddlepowerchan: **__go google my yahoo account._

_**KPOPchiZe:**__ kk where do u live?_

She nearly choked on his stupidity. If she was Vietnam, where else would she live?

_**paddlepowerchan: **__go google it!_

_**KPOPchiZe: **__what's ur bra size? :DDDD_

_**paddlepowerchan: **__go google it you damn pervert!_

_**KPOPchiZe:**__ what about ur panties~?_

_**paddlepowerchan: **__go happily google it since I know u would ._

_**KPOPchiZe: **__kk~_

And at that moment, she moved her finger on her trackpad so the cursor hovered over the "x", pestered by this useless and perverted tête-à-tête between them. What a waste of time. There would be nothing to tell Taiwan but an angry rant about how she can't just set her up with anyone she could find just because they were available and wanted to. Just before she signed off, another 'ping' came from the device. She was about to reply with another annoyed "go google it" when she read what it said.

_**KPOPchiZe: **__ur rly funny, u know~ i rly do lyk u, linh :)_

She fought off a blush that threatened to form on her cheeks and answered in a rushed way, "i can tell", when she clicked the "x" and logged off. Shutting the laptop, she leaned back in her couch and thought of what she had involved herself in. So Korea—perverted, annoying Korea—wanted to talk to her all along? And he found her cute? And he liked her? Huh.

* * *

><p>That night, Vietnam found herself in her bed with her laptop open and shining on her lap. She really didn't plan for this, but after hearing of her Facebook stalker, a.k.a. Korea, checking out her page, she felt that she had to take the precautionary measures to keep him from seeing anything she didn't want him to see, which was everything. So he wouldn't know she was online, she stayed invisible on the chat. As she searched for a way to block Korea from her profile—jeez, she hadn't been on in so long that she forgot how to block someone—a notification blinked and caught her attention on the upper left-hand corner of the screen. To her mortification, it was of <em>him <em>writing a post that tagged her.

_**Im Yong Soo**__ is still wondering if __**Hyunh Linh **__likes kimchi~ ;D_

Honestly, could he not? Really? Before she could scold him and dislike the post, a couple more notifications blinked onto her screen. Great, now people were commenting on his status. Just what she needed—more people to gossip about something that she so desperately wanted to get away from. And yet, she couldn't help but read. Did people really want to talk about her? Since when were they that interested in her affairs? There were an awful lot of notifications popping up on her page. A lot of people must be wondering about this, and possibly even about her. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad to see.

_**Chun Li "Leon" **__ i doubt she does. no one likes kimchi_

_**Im Yong Soo **__that's a lie! D: i asked her and she didn't answer me straight, so that could mean anything_

_**Xiao Mei **__don't tell me that was the ONLY thing you asked ._

_**Chun Li "Leon" **__did you really have to ask her what her sizes were?_

_**Xiao Mei **__he asked her that?_

_**Chun Li "Leon" **__he texted me about it aftr we came home from disneyland_

_**Im Yong Soo **__i thought it'd be funny :D and she told me to google it anyway, so~_

_**Alfred F. Jones**__ dude that is hysterical xDDD what do you think she is anyway?_

_**Im Yong Soo **__idk…36B? i've seen her in person, so yeah, she looks about that size ;D_

This was unbelievable. They were discussing her cup size on his profile. What she would give to shrink into a hole and hide herself from the face of the Earth until Facebook shut down. Her fingers itched to hammer out a response to all this nonsense when, to her gratefulness, someone came to her rescue. The fact that they were all online at 11 at night didn't intrigue her a bit. She just wanted to see what people said about her—without the risk of being sucked into yet another conversation with the cursed Korean.

_**Waen Jainukul **__c'mon, guys, that's not right :[ leave linh alone_

_**Alfred F. Jones **__yeah, your right. she's bigger than a 36B. lyk a C-cup?_

_**Im Yong Soo**__ really? i don't see it :/_

_**Xiao Mei **__can you just tell us what happened yong soo? everyones dying to know ;P_

Never mind this. She knew that he would pretty much spill everything that happened and she didn't want to watch the ensuing conversation that was guaranteed to be idiotic if Korea and America were in the same chat anymore. She logged off, not willing to continue receiving the notifications of their discussion. That was always a peeve of hers about Facebook—just because you were tagged in something did not mean you had to be told of every single comment that came up on it. Out of unexplained boredom, she continued to browse through her friends' pages, glancing up at their info at the same spot right below their names.

_**Xiao Mei **__is in a relationship with __**Chun Li "Leon".**_

_**Alfred F. Jones **__is in a relationship with __**Corazon "Cory" de los Santos.**_

_**Francis Bonnefoy **__is in a domestic partnership with __**Arthur Kirkland.**_

Save for whatever France was in with England ("domestic partnership"? England most likely had no idea of that little status on his wall—his brothers must've accepted the request France had sent to say such a thing), Vietnam could see how her friends announced their relationship status so proudly on their profiles, as if wanting to tell the world how much they were in love with this one person that just so happened to also have a Facebook with them. Clicking on her own thumbnail in Taiwan's friends list, she saw that she had no such status in her info. When she found herself on Korea's page, she saw that he didn't either.

Maybe it would be nice to say she was in a relationship with someone…People seemed to be so interested when a friend of theirs changed their relationship status, and she had a secret want to have someone she could be proud to call hers…

But there was no way in hell that she would stoop down so low as to accept Korea as that person he would say she was with. No way, no way, _no way. _That possibility was out the window for her. So he said she looked good in her pictures and he apparently has always wanted to chat with her since they became friends on Facebook. That could mean anything. He probably said that to all his other female friends, being the charismatic guy he is.

Wait. Did she just call him "charismatic"?

She shook her head, trying to rid her words from her own brain. She didn't mean that in a good way, she tried to convince herself. She meant "charismatic" as in "a player", someone who liked to play up the ladies. Involuntarily, her eye twitched at the thought of him saying the same things to other girls. That's irritating, how he seemed to be the type of guy who'd talk to a girl like she meant the world to him, only to deal the same cards on another starstruck idiot. The very mental image poked at her uncomfortably, although she couldn't—or didn't want to—say why.

Scrolling down Korea's profile, Vietnam caught sight of a word she was sick of seeing for the entire day in his "Favorite Pages" section. What was it about kimchi that he was so enthusiastic about? It was just a food, and from what she heard, it was disgusting. She stole a glance at the time on the lower right side of her laptop screen. A quarter to midnight. She sat there for a couple seconds before sighing, shrugging to herself, and clicking on the search engine toolbar with Google scrawled on top of it. It wasn't too late, and she wasn't too tired. Maybe she could look up the recipe or something…just to see what it was made out of.

Another day of being Vietnam was interrupted by a slamming open of her door and the call of the last person she wanted to see at that moment. "Liiiinh~" echoed down her corridor, ringing in her ears and keeping her from finishing a dish in the kitchen. Her face went from a bright red to a pale white and back to red in a split second. Korea bound into her kitchen and immediately grinned at her. "Annyong, Linh, da ze~!"

"How the hell did you find my house?" she snapped, instantaneously slamming the lid on the pot she stirred on the stove. "I Googled it, just like you told me~" he laughed loudly before he blinked and took a big whiff of the air. Something smelled…familiar. Only he could stand the aroma, but apparently so could she. His grin only grew wider and he looked down at the pot she tended to on the stove. "You're making kimchi!" he cheered, much to her embarrassment. "So you _do_ like it! I knew it!"

Vietnam averted her gaze to her fridge, hoping that her hair would be able to hide her reddened cheeks. "It's not kimchi," she denied. "It's a Vietnamese dish that…that's just really similar."

"Are you kidding me? I would know the smell of a dish that originated in Korea! It's my favorite!" He took a fork, lifted up the lid with gusto, and tasted her cooking while she inconspicuously bit her lip in quiet hope that she cooked it right. After Googling the recipe for kimchi out of inquisitiveness last night, she realized it was more delicious than people thought, and wanted to make it. Now that he was here, she secretly waited for his approval. Not because his opinion mattered to her, though! Because…if he liked it…then it would mean something to her because, after all, he knew the dish better than anyone.

His smile that followed his little test taste of her cooking flustered her even more, but she wouldn't dare show it. At least, not intentionally. "It tastes great!" he complimented, patting her shoulder and pulling her close to him. She squeaked in discomfiture at his touch. Even through the strong scent of the Korean food, she could smell his cologne on his jacket and shirt. "You made it so good, da ze~" His smile turned crafty and he pinched her cheek with a smirk on his lips. "Now, why would you make my favorite food after having a nice conversation about it with me the day before~? It's not because you have a thing for me, is it?" he teased.

She sputtered indignantly and tried to fend off all telltale signs that proved his theory was correct. "No! I was just curious!" she defended herself, trying to work her way out of his grasp. "I just…well, kimchi sounded interesting…but I-" She was then cut off by him pulling her to his muscular chest and embracing her tightly in his equally-muscular arms. His cologne was intoxicating; it overpowered the smell of the food, which said a lot about his choice of fragrance. Her eyes were as wide as plates, her face as red as a pepper, while he was completely composed. It was a strange role-reversal, and at the strangest of times! He pulled away with a simper painted on his face. "I knew you liked me~" he chuckled while he ruffled her hair. "Even before we chatted yesterday, I always felt like you had a thing for me." "You couldn't be more wrong," she groused as she crossed her arms, but her blush said otherwise. From the tips of her ears and across the bridge of her nose, a streak of red ran across her face.

"Then why are you all red?" he purred.

"It's hot in here from the stove," she lied.

Korea easily picked up on her dishonesty, but laughed it off before running his fingers through her ponytail. Could he _stop _playing with her hair? she thought to herself, aggravated. "Whatever you say," he sighed contentedly. His million-dollar grin spread across his face at her in an attempt to get her out of this hard-to-get, too-embarrassed-to-respond-rationally funk and hopefully get her to converse like he wanted.

Vietnam couldn't help but look up at Korea's shamelessly good looking smile—and grimace. Ugh. That smile, his compliments, the attention she got from him...She _did _like him, didn't she? All this time, saying how annoying he is and pointing out his flaws…What use was there now, denying it? She faced the stove again and stirred the food in the dish once more and quietly murmured, "J-just get some dishes out and put them on the table." She then pointed to the glass table on the other side of the kitchen. Korea nodded and brushed past her to the cabinet with the plates before he blinked and turned to her.

"For how many?"

"Um…two."

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><p><strong>AU: What a fail this is, but alas, Vocaloid gets me to write the dumbest things. It's obviously based on Megurine Luka and Kamui Gakupo's song "Go Google It" or "ggrks" (which is RIDICULOUSLY addictive, I must say), with Vietnam as Luka and Korea as Gakupo. And since Vietnam hasn't been fully elaborated by Himayura, I just did all guesswork with how her personality would be. I ended up making her a super-tsundere. And I'm such a wiener I have to put some sorta USxPh in my fics.**

**Alfie shouldn't be going around discussing girls' breast sizes, by the way. :T**

**Kimchi does smell gross, but when you're in love, the aroma doesn't mean a thing to you.**

**She should've made BiBamBop instead.**


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